why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
