I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
