I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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