Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
