Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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