I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
