Don't you send me to vm
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
