areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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