kristin has been a bad kristin
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
