that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
