with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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