Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
