I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
