So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I enjoy the company of your penis
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
