census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
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