About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
