im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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