so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
