Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
