Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
