I want to stick my p in your. b.
How's work?
Spinning.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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