Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
