Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
