even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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