hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
