Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
