I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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