weddingsv make me drug and hornr
True but thats because hes a fetus.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
