dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
