All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
