You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
