I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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