I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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