I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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