Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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