Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
