In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
