eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I yelled at your uterus for you.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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