How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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