sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Randomize
