I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
