I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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