I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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