Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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