he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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