You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
