have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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