trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
