your thong is hanging out like whoa
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I want a musical about memes.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
