Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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