How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
